I've got a retirement pension

After years of paying in

First I had a pension book

Now I've been issued with a PIN

When I went to draw my pension

They said "There's something funny

The numbers here all correspond

But it won't release your money.

Now here's a number you can ring

But there may be quite a queue."

When I rang, a disembodied voice said

"Your number is eighty-two."

Now with eighty-one folks before me

Waiting to enquire about their PIN

I replaced the receiver

And thought 'Blow it! I give in.'

I'll wait another day or two

Then I'll try again

With a bit of luck it will be my turn

And they'll have cleared the backlog by then

The following Monday morning

I didn't hesitate

With the queue now down to twenty-seven

This time I decided to wait.

So I sat there, waiting patiently

And eventually got through.

"What's that?" they said, "Your PIN won't work?

We'll send another one out to you."

Now it must have cost 'em millions

To bring this new system in

There was nothing wrong with the pension books

But I', flummoxed wi' this 'ere PIN.

M BROGDEN (Mrs), Ramsgreave Road, Blackburn .