WITH National Carers Week underway, one carer has spoken candidly about looking after others for her entire life.

Emma Hesketh, from Darwen, grew up looking after her mother from the age of six after her mum suffered a breakdown. Now she cares for her partner.

The carer has been through a tough life, with her mum later developing schizophrenia after the birth of her disabled brother.

Mrs Hesketh said: “My mum was in and out of care throughout my whole childhood and when I was six my dad told me I was old enough to take responsibility, as I now had to care for my mum.

“The danger is there are now even younger children becoming carers and they do not even realise they are carers because they are raised as a carer.

“Your whole value is looking after someone else.

"There is excellent support out there now, but if you don't know you are a carer, you won't reach out."

The family lived in Birmingham before moving to Wales with Mrs Hesketh moving to Darwen, age 28, after meeting her partner.

Mrs Hesketh remembers her youth and how challenging life as a carer has been. She said: “I remember my dad asking a care worker, when I was young, about what to do to help my mum.

“The carer said to leave her alone for a weekend and she will probably kill herself.

"Thankfully, that kind of comment would be viewed as heinous now, but resources are still limited due to demand, This is why it is so important that carers support one another."

Mrs Hesketh, 54, who works as an equality and access officer for Blackburn Library, says she did not realise her life was not normal until she went to study English and philosophy at the University of Lancaster.

“It was a culture shock for me and making friends was difficult. My whole topic of conversation was caring and I could not relate to anyone.

“Carers have not done the things others have. We don’t go out and have a social life.”

Four to six years after meeting her husband, who was a guitarist, he suffered a severe breakdown following problems with the mother of his child.

He also developed physical disabilities - a paralysed arm and hand. Mrs Hesketh says she has no choice but to look after him.

She said: “To all the people caring for someone out there, find time for yourself and talk to people. It's important to take time out and don’t forget who you are.

"The caring role can be exhausting, as well as rewarding. 

"It can be isolating, and lonely, as well as physically and mentally challenging.

"What you can forget as carer is that, you matter too."

Mrs Hesketh thanks Blackburn with Darwen Carers and Karen Haworth at Brain Health Breakthrough for all their support, including sending her a care package with shampoo, soap and chocolate to make her feel appreciated.

She said: "For me, Blackburn with Darwen Carer network has been a lifesaver.

"Their services are excellent, and their passion, commitment and advocacy for carers is incomparable."

The Young Adult Carer service is another place of support working with younger people.

Mrs Hesketh said: "For these carers, this is a hugely beneficial support, and will integrate them earlier into the wonderful support services out there.

"Take care of you. You matter. You have value beyond your role as carer and never forget that."