WE are £1trillion in debt. £1,004,290,000,000 to be exact -- almost the same as the nation's Gross Domestic Product. The figure, revealed by the Bank of England, means an average of £16,955 is owed by every man, woman and child.

My overdraft is not that bad, although it's creeping up in that general direction. What amazes me is that however frugal you are, however much effort you put in towards economising, you never seem to get on top of things. Whatever you do to save money does not seem to make a scrap of difference.

Take my cost-cutting measures and the success I've had with them:

1. Buying 'economy' lines at the supermarket.

Outcome: A peasant-style revolt by my children in which they turn their noses up at the baked beans I have served up. This causes a row and results in a lecture from me about how lucky they are and how thousands of children in the Third World are starving. After trying them myself I later concede that economy baked beans are as tasty as a piece of soggy cardboard and never buy them again. A number of other 'economy' products go the same way.

2. Walk instead of catching the bus.

Outcome: Now that we live a couple of miles out of town I have tried to limit use of the car. But, after twice waiting for almost half-an-hour in the rain for the supposedly 'every-ten minutes' service, and having to fork out more than £1 for the privilege, I have begun to opt for the most convenient option once again.

My husband does, however, deserve a gold star in walking to work whenever the weather permits. He's even thinking of buying a bike.

3. Waiting for the sales before buying new clothes.

Outcome: Sadly, the sales never seem to coincide with garments wearing out, skirts suddenly acquiring gaping holes, zips failing to work on trousers and cardigans shrinking in the wash. I end up walking around for months wearing skirts dotted with iron-on patches, jeans fastened at the fly with safety pins and cardis five sizes too small with missing buttons.

4. Buying enough food, particularly fresh vegetables, to make countless meals and so avoid repeated visits to the supermarket.

Outcome: This never works -- I'm always too pushed for time to prepare meals every night using fresh ingredients. I usually end up doing it once, then resorting to micro-chips while the fresh stuff goes mouldy.

5. Buying little stamps to stick in a savings book to put towards the TV licence, my daughter's swimming lessons and other bills.

Outcome: This is what my husband calls the 'old lady' in me. It only ever results in me turning out every drawer in the house every few weeks when I try to find the books. Direct debit would be much easier, but I like to have control over what's leaving my account.

My advice to anyone reading this list is to take absolutely no notice, as it makes no difference whatsoever to your financial well-being. My bank statements and the letters threatening debtors' prison (maybe if we still had those there wouldn't be so much debt) are proof enough.