THERE'S some pains in hospital - if you'll pardon the expression.

There's always someone on a ward who's a damned nuisance to both staff and fellow patients.

They're usually self-centred loudmouths who like themselves and let everyone know it, the sort who shout on mobile phones and broadcast their business. They try to joke with the frustrated nurses who've heard it all before and shout to everyone in the beds around them.

Then there's the can't-stay-still-for-a-minute patient who trundles his medication up and down the corridors on a squeaky pole and is for ever at the nurses' station complaining about summat.

Don't they realise there are really sick people nearby who just want to be left alone in peace and quiet.

It always makes me wonder what these people are doing still in hospital taking up a desperately needed bed in the first place. They certainly seem too well to be there.